THE Kiss
by Literati Lover
Summary: My take on Tristan's POV during 1x17: The Breakup, Part Two and 1x18: The Third Lorelai. Two-parter.


Title: THE Kiss

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Oneshot. This is what I feel Tristan's POV would be during episodes 1x 17: The Break Up, Part Two and 1x18: The Third Lorelai

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, nor do I own the characters. I just own my thoughts and feelings towards the show and characters.

_Tristan's POV_

Summer just dumped me…in front of well, everyone. It sucked. But the worst part of it was that she did it in front of… _her_. _Mary. _Or to be politically correct, Rory Gilmore.

It was absolutely embarrassing. I mean, someone dumping _me_, the _King_ of Chilton. I bet she was so proud, the first person to finally pull one over on me. I bet she loved it. And I bet everyone there loved seeing it, especially _her_. And why wouldn't she?

I had tortured Mary, I mean Rory since the day she arrived at Chilton. But I didn't plan it that way. I mean, I saw a Mary… a pure, innocent, untainted, yet still remarkably stunning girl. And I was the King. It was my _duty_ as King to tarnish her. That's what I did. And so I set out to do what I always did, because it was expected of me.

But she wasn't like the other girls, the other _Marys_ (if you can even use that term for them). She was, well still is, a true Mary. She didn't fall for my lines or my moves. She didn't swoon over my good looks. She didn't fall at my feet like the other girls. She didn't care about my looks or my money or my status. She didn't care about anything.

But the scariest part of all was that she saw through my charade. She even calls me out on it. Mentioning that she's a conquest or a flavor of the week. But the sad part is, she's not. Well, not anymore. But it's not like I can tell her that, because well, she wouldn't believe me. It's true though. She's no longer a conquest.

I can't decipher the exact moment it occurred, but it did. I remember waking up one day thinking about her, which has never happened with any girl _ever_. Then, I remember doing my hair and wondering, "Huh. I wonder what _Mary_ would think." Then I would borrow a book from my grandfather's library (I'd never admit it though) and I would think, "I wonder if she's read this and what she thinks of it."

And that is when I realized. I am in love with Rory Gilmore. And I am completely confused on how to handle it.

I've never been in love, and well, my parents were no example of love. So I really have no idea how a person in love should act. So I do what I do best: pretend.

I pretend that Rory's still a conquest and that she's not important to me, because well, I don't know HOW to show her that she is important to me. Instead of making a fool of myself, it's much easier to just do what I've always done best.

But that's gotten me nowhere, except for dumped, on front of the entire school by a girl that I actually kinda liked, in front of the girl that I am in love with. Yeah, people may think my life is perfect, but if they only knew the truth.

So being completely humiliated, I decided to find somewhere quiet, which lead to me a room with piano. I remember hearing my grandmother play the piano back when she was alive, so I sat down and begin to hit a few notes, when I heard someone enter. I didn't look up, because, well I didn't really care. That was until I heard _her_ voice.

"Oh, sorry," she said, coming through the curtain.

I looked up and looked right down again. "No problem."

"I'm sorry," she said, walking closer.

What was she talking about? Sorry for walking into the room? Sorry for making my life so difficult? Life was so much easier before she was around. I didn't have to worry about trying to impress anyone. I didn't worry about how people felt about me. I didn't lie awake in my bed at night thinking about someone that I would never be good enough for. But she didn't know this, so obviously she couldn't be apologizing about that.

"For what?"

"About you and Summer."

Ahh, so she did see. I mean, I noticed her there, reading. But I was hoping that maybe her book was just too interesting and she wouldn't notice. I mean usually she never notices anything when she's consumed in a book.

But, I'm not that lucky. And, this was not a topic I wanted to speak about. I didn't want to talk to the girl I am in love with (who happens to have a boyfriend she's probably in love with) about the girl that I actually liked but who dumped me in front of, well, pretty much everyone I knew.

"I don't want to talk about Summer."

"Ok, so how'd you do on that Biology test?" I heard her ask.

Biology test? Where did that come from?

"What?" I asked, confused at the sudden change of subject.

"The test. It was hard wasn't it," she replied. This was really odd. I mean, talking with Rory about school? I never thought I'd see the day.

And then, I wanted to answer, Yeah, the test was hard, but only because I was staring at you instead of focusing on the questions. But I didn't. At least, not that much into detail.

Instead, I replied, "Yeah, it was hard." I was still completely confused as to why she was talking to me, especially about Biology.

"I got a B+," she said, walking closer to me. Huh. I would have been more shocked by this, since I'd always pictured Mary as a Straight A only student. But I couldn't be shocked by her B+, because I was more shocked that she was talking to me about Biology at a party. She never talks to me. And if she does, it's either to 1) ask me to move, because I'm making out with some random girl in front of her locker or 2) to basically tell me everything that is wrong with me, which is apparently, a lot (like I didn't already know that).

Never has she talked to me like we were, well, friends. Or at least acquaintances. Usually, it's more like I'm her enemy.

"What are you doing?" I asked, finally trying to understand what was going on.

"I'm talking about the test," she replied, as if it were the most common and normal conversation in the world.

She was one odd girl.

"Why?" I asked, still trying to understand.

"Because you said you didn't want to talk about Summer."

And yet, she brings it up again. It's not bad enough to plunge the dagger in. She's got to pull it out slowly and painfully.

"I don't," I said, looking down ashamed. I still couldn't believe that she had seen that. That is definitely one of the most embarrassing moments in my life.

"Ok, So I moved to Biology. Sorry, did you wanna talk about Spanish?" she asked, casually once again.

How could she talk about school during a situation like this? With her enemy? Right after he was dumped and humiliated in front of everyone? Shouldn't she be rubbing it in my face?

"You just loved it, didn't you?" I finally asked. I wish she would just admit it and get this torture over with.

"Loved what?"

Of course, she was oblivious again. Why not? She already couldn't tell that I was in love with her, infatuated with her, enthralled with her, or that she practically consumed all of my thoughts. Everyone else could tell, but not her.

"Seeing me nailed like that. Must have been a great moment," I said, slightly annoyed.

"Not really," she replied, quickly. She looked disgusted at the suggestion. But that couldn't make any sense. Why wouldn't she want me to be tortured after I had done the same to her for so long.

She had to be lying. Obviously.

"Please. You loved it. She loved it. Everybody loved it," I said, wishing she would just admit it so that I could feel better, knowing I was right. Then I could sit in this room alone and pity myself.

"I did not love it," she said, coming around to sit next to me.

I didn't understand her. How could she not love it? Was she really that amazing that she didn't even want her enemies to be hurt?

I guess so. Rory really was one amazing person. Her beauty on the inside definitely matched her gorgeous exterior.

"I really liked her too," I finally admitted about Summer. It was true. I mean, ok, I might not love her. But still, I liked her. More than I had any of my previous "girlfriends". Not that that says much, but still.

"I know," she replied, sympathetically. Great. Now I was getting sympathy from the last person on earth I ever wanted it from.

I felt incredibly pathetic, so I tried to change the topic to _bagboy_. What a disgusting excuse for a human being. So tall and eery. And he didn't treat Rory the way she deserved. He didn't deserve her. I mean, I know that I don't deserve her, but still. I've got to be better than him, right? Where was he anyway?

He seemed way too protective. I can't imagine him letting Rory come to a party without him, and I doubt she'd be one to go without him knowing.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" I finally got up the nerve to ask.

"He's not my boyfriend anymore," she replied, and I thought my heart skipped a beat.

So, Rory was finally single. Did she realize that she was in love with me and that's why she left the Beave? Ha. I wish. I'm absolutely pathetic, because I know that she didn't break up with her boyfriend for me, but if not. Then why?

"Why not?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Didn't wanna be," she replied, casually.

WHAT?! Didn't wanna be?! Is he the biggest idiot in the world? What person would be so stupid that they would give up the only true and honest and beautiful and loving person in the world? I mean, I knew he was tool, but this was too much.

I shook my head and finally said what I was thinking. Well, not all of it. I censored some.

"Idiot."

"So is Summer," she replied, and I felt my heart leap for joy again. Rory just implied that Summer was an idiot for dumping me. That had to mean that she thought Summer was lucky to have me. That has to mean something, right?

My heart was bursting, but I didn't want to show it. After all, I had a persona to keep up, and I wasn't about to ruin years of working to get to my status only to have it all torn away, because of some girl.

Plus, I wouldn't get my hopes up. First, Rory would never date me, even if she did think I was too good for Summer. I mean, that's not saying much. Summer runs around with a new guy every week too. Plus, Rory was just being nice and pitying me. I didn't need that.

Besides, bagboy was going to realize that he made the biggest mistake ever, and Rory, being the forgiving and amazing person she is will take him back. It was as simple as that. So I asked what I was thinking.

"You think you'll get back together?" I asked, my heart hopeful. My body may have seemed calm, but my heart was begging her to say no and to tell me that she loved me instead.

"He was pretty set in his decision," she said, looking down sadly. I felt anger well up in me. What right did he have to hurt Rory? To make her feel this way? Bagboy didn't even _deserve_ to dump Rory. He wasn't even worthy enough to talk to her.

She looked so sad, and it broke my heart, so I finally turned to face her. I wanted to show her that I cared. So I tried to be interested.

"When did it happen?" I asked, calmly and quietly.

"Yesterday," she replied.

Wow. That was so recent. No wonder she was here. She needed to get away to clear her head.

"Wow," I said back. It was all I could think of at the time. Plus, I wanted to show her I was listening.

"It was our three month anniversary," she said, looking up at me.

That _douche!_ If I see him again, he better pray he can run fast enough so I can't catch him. I'll make him wish he had never laid eyes on me or Rory Gilmore.

"That sucks," I said, letting her know that it was a crappy thing to do. I didn't want to insult _bagboy_. I mean, after all, it just happened yesterday. I'm sure she still had feelings for him.

"Yeah, it does suck," she said, nodding yes. She looked down. She looked so sad, I wanted to reach out and touch her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that it would be ok, because I would be there for her.

But I couldn't. I couldn't because I knew it wasn't me she wanted holding her. It wasn't me she longed to hear the proclamation of love from. She wanted Dean to hold her and to tell her he loved her. That would make it all better.

So I didn't put my arms around her or comfort her. I wasn't wanted, so what would be the point?

"Do you think you guys will?" she asked, breaking my thoughts.

Ha. Yeah right. As if I would ever date Summer again. Not after that humiliation. Besides, I mean, she was in the bathroom with my friend. That just does not cut it with me. I may be a player and I may date a lot of girls, but I won't date a cheater.

"No. No. Nononono," I said, shaking my head fervently and smirking.

Summer's going to wish I'd take her back. But I won't.

"So no?" Rory asked, amused. I looked at her. That's when I finally noticed how stunning she looked.

Her hair was pulled away from her face, drawing more attention to her beautiful blue eyes. I knew that shade of blue well. It was the color that haunted my thoughts constantly. I would never admit it, but ever since the first time I looked into those eyes, I've had a new favorite color. I'm not even sure what that shade of blue is named, but it's my favorite color.

I bought a sweater in that color. I had my room repainted that color, which was probably a stupid idea. It just made me think of her more, if that was even possible.

Anyway, aside from the depth of her blue orbs, I noticed the dress she was wearing accented her cheeks as she blushed. It drew attention to all of the right places.

She looked beautiful and stunning and yet I knew I wouldn't tell her this. Because, I couldn't. Because I kept reminding myself that it wasn't me she wanted.

Maybe if I wouldn't have been so hard on her, or maybe if I'd shown who I really was, just MAYBE she would have wanted to be with me. Just me. Not my money or status, but me. The real Tristan. The Tristan that nobody knew (except my grandfather), and except for the few glances I gave Rory to show her that I really was a person underneath what appeared to be a robot.

"Hey, I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time for a while," I said, honestly meaning it. And I really did mean it. I was sorry. Maybe if I had been different, we'd be together right now. But I guess I'd never know.

"Oh, it's ok," she said, calmly.

It's ok? After all of that teasing and calling her the wrong name, cornering her at her locker, and practically harassing me, she said it was ok?! OKAY?!

"It is?" I asked, unbelieving.

"Well, no, but you're sad," she replied. Well, at least she was honest. That's just another reason I loved her. She wouldn't lie to spare your feelings. She told it like it was.

I always admired that about her. I admired that she was so honest and open and didn't care what people thought. I wished that I could be the same. That I could tell people how I felt, but I couldn't. I wouldn't know where to start. And Besides, I do what's expected of me. That's what Dugreys do.

"Yeah, well, I am sorry," I said, meaning it completely.

"I accept your apology," she said, giving me a small smile.

That's another thing I loved about _Mary_. She was so forgiving and accepting.

I still don't understand how _bagboy_ could be such an idiot?

Thinking of badboy, reminds me of Summer. And what just happened. This has got to be the worst party ever. (Or maybe the best, since well, I'm finally talking to Rory and having a civil conversation)

"Oh man, it's a great party, huh?" I said sarcastically, and stupidly, changing the topic. I really didn't want to think about Summer right now.

"Yeah. Not bad. Gave me a chance to catch up on my reading," she replied, softly.

Yep. Rory Gilmore was definitely the oddest girl I have ever met. That is definitely the first (and I'm pretty sure the last) I will ever hear that sentence. She's the only girl I've ever met who wasn't ashamed to bring a book to party. She wasn't ashamed to be herself. She was definitely unique.

I laughed quietly.

"You are very odd, you know that?" I said, telling her.

_Way to go, Dugrey!_ She's probably going to think that I just insulted her. Yeah, I'm definitely smooth. A smooth talking idiot.

She looked at me as I turned to look at her and our eyes met. Once again, I felt myself drowning in a deep blue abyss. But I didn't mind. I would gladly spent the rest of my life in this place if I was given a choice.

"Thank you," she said, laughing and smiling.

My heart skipped a beat for many reasons. First, I was the one who made her laugh and smile. Not bagboy. Not her mom. Not coffee. Just _me_.

Secondly, no matter who makes her smile, when she smiles, my heart leaps. I'm not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with this emotion they call love, since I'm fairly certain that's what I feel.

"You're welcome," I replied, feeling happy, yet proud.

We smiled at each other and stared at each other as I feel deeper and deeper into her eyes. They sparkled as she smiled, and I felt myself fall more in love than I already had, if that were even possible. I continued to stare for I'm not sure how long, when I noticed her lips.

I hadn't meant to look down, but I saw her lips twitch slightly as she glanced down at my mouth and I couldn't help it. Her lips looked so soft and kissable. Many times I had wondered about what those lips would feel like on mine. I had created so many scenarios in my head that if only others had known, they would call me crazy.

So I definitely couldn't help it that she looked at my lips as her lips twitched and my attention was drawn there. I mean, everyone knows that if someone looks at your lips, they want to kiss you. So the fact that it had been Rory Gilmore did not pass me by. I didn't care that she had just lost Dean or that I had just been humiliated by Summer. If she looked at my lips, I assumed she wanted to kiss them. And I was DEFINITELY not going to miss this opportunity. I had been waiting for far too long.

So I also couldn't help it when my body begin to lean forward on its own. I definitely wasn't doing this consciously. My body was moving on its own accord. I did finally gain control of my body and pause slightly once to gauge her reaction, but she didn't stop me. She too leaned forward. By then, I was definitely too far gone. I was swimming in a sea of passion, envisioning all of the ways her lips might feel as they touched my own.

But NONE of the feelings I imagined could even compare to the electricity I felt as her lips finally touched mine. It was like my mouth had been in a drought and her lips had brought the rain necessary to survive.

As her lips brushed over mine, all thoughts of previous girlfriends were washed from my mind. Summer who? Summer no longer mattered. Summer's kisses would never compared to something like this.

I felt so many different emotions that I couldn't even understand them. I thought I would burst. Love, excitement, passion, desire, and so many more feelings flew through my mind.

_Finally_ I was kissing Rory. The moment I had waited for since the day I had met her was finally here.

And it was worth the wait. Her lips moved smoothly over my own and my body felt things that I had never felt before. I don't care that I had previously engaged in numerous relationships with individuals who had way more experience than Rory. None of their kisses _ever_ made my heart and my body react like this. It was pure bliss. I never wanted to end.

She even kissed back as our lips wrestled briefly. The feeling was extraordinary and I could not contain my emotions. I never wanted this kiss to end, but sadly, it did. In the worst way possible.

Not only had Rory pulled away, but I noticed that she was crying.

Did I bite her lip? I mean, I'm sure by the way my body was feeling that I probably got way too carried away.

"I'm sorry, what did I do? Did I bite your lip or something?" I asked, stupidly.

Wow. I sounded like a complete idiot. _Did I bite your lip?!_ Who asks that? I really am an idiot around Rory.

"No, it's not you. It's just…I have to go," she said, standing up, grabbing her purse and running out the door.

I had never been more confused in my entire life. I just had the best moment I've ever had, and what will probably end up being the best moment of my life, and yet it was followed by the worst moment I've ever had.

Why did Rory always have to cause contradictions in my life?

Was my kiss really that bad? Did Rory really hate me so much?

I mean, I know that I can be horrible sometimes. But we were having a civil conversation. Plus, _she looked at my lips first_. I couldn't help it. So then she kisses me with a mind blowing kiss and then runs off crying.

I really do suck.

The horrible thing is, I would cry to, but I can't. Because, even though Rory ran off crying, she still kissed me. And that moment was the _best_ moment of my entire life. Not even Rory running off crying could ruin something that amazing.

And I felt how Rory felt in that kiss. She loved me to. She had to. So, even if she hates me so much now that she was disgusted by my kiss, she'll come around.

She has to…. Or, well at least that's what I keep telling myself. Because, it's makes the days go by much easier.

Rory Gilmore, you are the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. But kissing me was a mistake, because I guarantee that I will not let you slip through my fingers. I will find some way to show you that I love you and want to be with you.I can be the person you want me to be. No, I _WILL_ be the person you want me to be.

********A/N: Please review?! I still have to write part two! I need to know what you think. Let me know if you love it or hate it. What can I do to make it better? I'm sorry if it's a little rough. This is the first Gilmore Girls fic I've written in a long time. But I have a really good Trory planned out that I want to write, so I wanted to get some Gilmore Girls fanfiction practice on this two part story before I start my other Trory.

Please review, it makes me write faster, or actually it makes me write in general. Every time I see a review, I want to sit down and type another chapter!

By the way, if you liked this story, I'll be writing a part two soon. You can also read my story Easier to Run. Thanks!

And remember……review. Please? Thanks so much =)


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